Siddhartha: A Novel by Hermann Hesse by Hesse Hermann
Author:Hesse, Hermann [Hesse, Hermann]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Classics, Philosophy, Spirituality, Religion, Historical
ISBN: 9780760383063
Amazon: B0BXM3ZNY2
Goodreads: 75593846
Publisher: Wellfleet Press
Published: 1922-10-01T08:00:00+00:00
Tiredness was written on Kamalaâs beautiful face, tiredness from walking a long path, which has no happy destination, tiredness and the beginning of withering, and concealed, still unsaid, perhaps not even conscious anxiety: Fear of old age, fear of the autumn, fear of having to die.
Kamala owned a small, rare singing bird in a golden cage. Of this bird he dreamt. He dreamt this bird had become mute, who at other times always used to sing in the morning, and because this aroused his attention, he stepped in front of the cage and looked inside; there the small bird was dead and lay stiff on the ground. He took it out, weighed it for a moment in his hand, then threw it away, out into the street. In the same moment, he felt terribly shocked, and his heart hurt, as if he had thrown away from himself all value and everything good by throwing out this dead bird.
Starting up from this dream, he felt encompassed by a deep sadness. Worthless, so it seemed to him, worthless and pointless was the way he had been going through life; nothing that was alive, nothing that was in some way delicious or worth keeping he had left in his hands. Alone he stood there, and empty like a castaway on the shore.
With a gloomy mind, Siddhartha went to the pleasure garden he owned, locked the gate, sat down under a mango tree, felt death in his heart and horror in his chest, sat and sensed how everything died in him, withered in him, came to an end in him. By and by, he gathered his thoughts, and in his mind he once again went along the entire path of his life, starting with the first days he could remember. When was there ever a time when he had experienced happiness, felt a true bliss? Oh yes, several times he had experienced such a thing. In his years as a boy, he had had a taste of it, when he had obtained praise from the Brahmans, he had felt it in his heart: âThere is a path in front of the one who has distinguished himself in the recitation of the holy verses, in the dispute with the learned ones, as an assistant in the offerings.â Then he had felt it in his heart: âThere is a path in front of you, you are destined for, the gods are awaiting you.â And again, as a young man, when the ever-rising, upward-fleeing goal of all thinking had ripped him out of and up from the multitude of those seeking the same goal, when he wrestled in pain for the purpose of Brahman, when every obtained knowledge only kindled new thirst in him, then again he had, in the midst of the thirst and in the midst of the pain, felt this very same thing: âGo on! Go on! You are called upon!â He had heard this voice when he had left his home and had
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